50 Fun things to do at K-Mart or Walmart

  1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and
     stranding them at strategic locations.

  2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

  3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
     throughout the day.

  4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join
     in.

  5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray
     air fresheners.

  6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

  7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

  8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

  9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially
     thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think
     we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and
     turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi!  I haven't seen you in
     so long!..." etc.  See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud
     enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it
     for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet
     away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friend, using the entire store as
     your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
     mesmerized and say, "Wow.  Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll
     only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the
     other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
     "...I'm Batman.  Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside
     down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why
     won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between
     them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there
     are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
     battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
     "Mission: Impossible."


38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your
     Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,
     etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,
     quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal
     position and scream, "No, no!  It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
     If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you
    don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in
     it.

*BONUS*
  Attempt all of the above during the same visit.