LEWINSKY VIRUS: Sucks all the memory out of your computer then e-mails everyone on your distribution list about it.
RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: Saves your data but forgets where it is stored.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after one byte.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands to 300MB.
LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 floppy.
JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Searches your hard drive for old files then deletes them.
ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.
DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
SHARON STONE VIRUS: Makes a huge initial impact then you forget it's there.
TIM ALLEN VIRUS: Appears helpful only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.
WOODY ALLEN VIRUS: Bypasses the mother board and turns on the daughter card.
SADDAM HUSSEIN VIRUS: Won't let you into any of your programs.
TONYA HARDING VIRUS: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
GEORGE MICHAELS VIRUS: Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.
JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS: Only attacks minor files.
X-FILES VIRUS: All your icons start shape shifting.
ARNOLD SCHWARTZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you're getting.
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