Top 10 Items on President Clinton's Resume

10. 1986-89: Body Double for Pillsbury Doughboy.
 9. 1973: Voted Yale Law School "Most Weaselly."
 8. References available upon subpoena.
 7. June 1988: Secretly married Carmen Electra.
 6. Career objective: Keeping my fat ass out of prison.
 5. 1997 Winner of the Golden Moonshine Jug for 
    Outstanding Hillbilly Achievement.
 4. Executive Director, American Society of Bubbas.
 3. 1997: Cruller Tester, Winchell's Donuts.
 2. Proud father of over 200 students at Little Rock Junior High.
 1. Can lie fluently in seven languages.